Pain of a lost love
by maraudergirl68448
Summary: *Oneshot* Jace didn't want to believe it. Her emerald green eyes were still open, like she was staring up at the light polluted sky of the city. Her red hair had fallen from its tied state and now spilled over Alec's arm.


**"Pray for the dead and fight like hell for the living." **

* * *

Everyone always thought Jace would die young. What else would you expect of a guy that always put his life on the line for...well everyone.

Well he did in fact die, but Clary did bring him back to life for dangerous consequences.

Now a few years later, six years to be exact, and many shadowhunters, downworlders and mundanes were attending a funeral.

But, it is not Jace Herondales funeral. He is still breathing. Although he feels like his heart is ripping to shreds and the thoughts of tomorrow are too painful to plan.

He lost someone important to him.

It isn't the first boy who became his friend. Who soon became his parabatai and brother.

It isn't the first girl who could actually make him run away from her in fear of being castrated.

It wasn't the people who had taken in him as their own son, and continued to treat him like a son since he was ten years old.

Instead, fate had to take away the first girl who made him feel again. The one girl who made him cry years after the last.

The one girl he had been so sure he would marry and spend the rest of his life with.

But fate had to look down on Jace, just when everything was going fantastic and send him heart wrenching pain by taking her away from him.

* * *

There was a horde of demons in the middle of central park at midnight. Maryse had sent Jace, Alec, Isabelle and Clary to check out central park since their was Mundanes going missing when they entered the park.

When the glamoured shadowhunters arrived in the park, there was only three demons in sight. Jace had smirked at the easy mission. The group approached the demons and Jace and Alec quickly slashed two of the three demons heads while Isabelle used her electrum whip to wrap the third demon. It made a screeching noise as the electrum made contact with its skin. It sliced in half before folding in on itself and disappearing like the previous two.

Jace turned around, grinning like a Cheshire cat towards the glaring red-head.

"We have an hour of rounds to do. Will we split up or stay in a group?" Alec asked, prolonging the peace before the argument that was sure to ensue.

Clary ignored Alec, placed her hands on her hips and glared straight at Jace. "Come on Clary. You can blow off an art class you've been excited for all week to come demon hunting with us! It'll be fun!" Clary said in a deep voice, imitating Jace.

"Did you not have fun?" Jace asked innocently, like a child that asks someone if they want the last sweet after they had already ate it.

Clary shook her head, a few stray curls from her messily tied up hair bounced around her face. "Sure, it was great fun watching you three take out a demon each. All I needed was popcorn."

Jace chuckled as he placed his arm over her shoulder. "Would you prefer it if I told you that your art class teacher called your phone while you were in the shower saying that the class was cancelled?"

Clary rolled her eyes and was about to argue further when Jace hushed her and looked behind him. Clary had been about to ask what was wrong when a hissing noise was heard. Jace took his arm from around her shoulders and unsheathed his seraph blades, indicating for the others to do the same.

Jace took a step forward, just as a black lion shaped figure pounced from the darkness. From the stamping Jace could both feel and hear.

He grinned as he felt the familiar adrenaline rush course through his body, the rush you could only feel when in battle.

He quickly turned to Clary. "I love you." He said before running towards the unknown creature.

* * *

Jace fell on his back from exhaustion. He had never fought so much demons all at once. He had been completely surrounded, that he had been unable to see his friends.

He had never seen those demons before. They had a lion figure, but from the glow of his blades, he could see they had a bull's head and scorpion tail.

Jace heaved himself off from the ground, then he went to find the others.

He could see a blue glow emitting from the fountain in the middle of the park, so he presumed he had been the furthest from the group. As he approached, he saw Isabelle and Alec sitting on the rim of the fountain. They looked as tired as he felt, but his heart wrenched as he noticed immediately that someone was missing.

"Where's Clary?" He asked his siblings.

Alec shrugged while Isabelle answered "We thought she was with you?"

"I got separated by those things." Jace said, he scanned the area for any sight or sound of his girlfriend. "CLARY?!" He shouted, hoping she would reply. The glamour was still in effect so no Mundie would hear him.

No reply came.

"Maybe she tripped and hit her head?" Alec suggested, but worry still laced his words.

Jace took out his witchlight and started walking around the park to find Clary. He needed to know she wasn't hurt.

Isabelle and Alec got the same idea as he saw from the corner of his eye, the light of their own witchlights.

* * *

Ten minutes had passed when Jace heard Alec shout.

Jace wasted no time in running towards his parabatai. As he neared his brother, who was kneeling, Jace could feel his heart stop as he saw the small unmoving figure in Alec's arms.

Jace fell to his knees in front of Alec, staring down at the lifeless body that had once been a headstrong, brave and kind person.

Jace didn't want to believe it. Her emerald green eyes were still open, like she was staring up at the light polluted sky of the city. Her red hair had fallen from its tied state and now spilled over Alec's arm.

Her lips that had fit his perfectly like puzzle pieces were slightly parted in a smile. Like she was watching something she loved.

Her hands were at her side, one still gripping her seraph blade while the other was in the position like she was painting.

Jace reluctantly looked at her stomach where blood was pooling from. Beside her was a huge thorn shaped stinger which Jace presumed was what caused her untimely death.

Jace shakily crossed his legs before reaching for her. Alec carefully passed her body over to Jace who as soon as he had her in his arms, cradled her tightly to his chest.

He felt tears roll down his cheeks as he rocked back and forth while placing his face into her hair and inhaling the strawberry and vanilla scent that wafted from her. He completely broke down as he felt his heart shatter into microscopic pieces.

She couldn't be dead. She had to still be alive somehow.

Jace knew that he could try to fool himself into thinking she would wake up in any second, but he had proof that she would never gaze at him with those love filled emerald orbs, that when he was acting like a jerk, she wouldn't be there to tell him off. She wouldn't be there any longer to reply to his "I love you."

He felt his whole body shudder as tears continued to stream down his face.

How was he going to live tomorrow when she wouldn't be there next to him in bed to say good morning? How was he going to survive situations that demanded he live when his main reason for living no longer had a heart beat?

* * *

Jace stood before the open coffin in his white suit. He hated wearing it, but it was the appropriate garment to wear.

Jace stared into to face of the red-head that had stolen his heart. He had helped carry her coffin into the church. Jocelyn, Isabelle and Maryse had prepared her body for the open casket funeral that all of the humans Clary had befriended could say goodbye before she was buried in the silent city.

Isabelle had placed Clary's hands in the gesture of her cradling her stomach which Jace felt was appropriate.

As soon as he returned from central park and had been kicked out of Jocelyn and Luke's house, he had returned to the institute to change. He first went to Clary's room to look around, just wanting to be near anything she had touched.

He had seen a box in the rubbish bin, and he was curious to know what it was.

It was a pregnancy test.

And it was positive.

Jace had broken down once again after getting his tears under control. He didn't bother being quiet as he roared with the pain in his heart from the loss of the love of his life, but from the death of his child that never got to live.

And it was all his fault.

Clary had been reluctant to go demon hunting, but he forced her to go. If he had just let her go to her art class, she would still be alive.

Isabelle and Alec had run in to see him as they too had been kicked out from Jocelyn and Luke's house. They saw the test and cried with Jace.

Now he was standing next to her lifeless body that had contained another life. A life that was half her and (He hoped) half him. He doubted Clary had ever cheated on him, but now he would never know.

"Come on Jace, It's about to start." Alec whispered in his ear as he led Jace away from the girl lying in the coffin.

As they descended the two steps, Jace glanced towards Jocelyn who had her face buried in Luke's chest. Jace could clearly see Luke was crying, but he was too busy trying to comfort Jocelyn to wipe the tears from his eyes.

They didn't tell Jocelyn that Clary was pregnant when she died. It was probably the wrong thing to do, but Jocelyn was on the verge of having any breakdown known to man.

Alec seated himself and Jace on the opposite pew of Jocelyn. She had reluctantly allowed Jace back into the house, probably knowing it was cruel to stop him from saying his goodbyes, but Jace knew she blamed him for everything. Which was justified.

The priest of the church stood up to start the funeral. Jace never took his eyes off the beautiful girl in the coffin, a smile still placed on her lips.

He felt fresh tears spill as he gazed at her. He wanted to run up to the coffin and climb in with her. He knew it was ludicrous and he would be ruining her farewell, but if it meant he got another chance to hold her in an embrace, he would gladly do it.


End file.
